My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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