I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
my poor anus
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
