It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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