do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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