I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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