i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I had to cum in my sink.
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