So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
