every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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