Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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