what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
