I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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