I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
