So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
