If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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