I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
