I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish i was in the wii world.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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