how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
