THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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