She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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