i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
