Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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