i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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