That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
