We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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