I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
