Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
