Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
