So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
