I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
