i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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