My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
