Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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