My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
