Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
