I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
