i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
