Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I deserve this hangover.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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