Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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