Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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