I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
