i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
