Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
