I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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