You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
