Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
