is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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