I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
