Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
