I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can text with my tongue
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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