I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
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