So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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