Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
