You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
