Need sex. Gaining weight.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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